Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Day 4....

Well I have a confession to make....last night I ate graham crackers.  I was so hungry I didn't know what to do.  I have very few food items in my house at the moment because my fridge is full of fruits and vegetables.  I couldn't imagine eating another fruit or veggie so I ate graham crackers! WAHH!! People...I am not going to make it to day 30.  It's just not going to happen.  I need to accept this and adapt this plan now so I don't completely fail.  

My second confession is that this happened for dinner tonight.


Yep, I had popcorn for dinner.  Not the squash that I was supposed to have. I ALWAYS do this.  Every time I try something like this!  When will I learn?  I mean honestly.  I am queen of yo yo dieting.  You would think I would have this all figured out now.  You would think I have the motivation, will power and self control to stop this.  Nope!  I don't!  Not even close! The moment I start to doubt myself everything goes down hill from there.  I at least know this about myself.  That is why I am saying that I am not going to give up but I am going to adapt.  I know I can't continue down this path so I am going to change it.  And if that doesn't work then I will change it again.  This has to work!  My life depends on it!


Ok so let's back up and talk about what I did GOOD today.  I woke up this morning feeling great!  I slept like a rock.  I only woke up one time to pee.  People..PEOPLE this is unheard of for me.  I generally wake up at least 3-5 times.  I never get a good night of sleep.  I wake up exhausted every single day.  I felt great this morning!  I honestly can say that I do feel good doing this.  So before I left for work I started my smoothie and juicing for the day.



This smoothie was YUMMY!  It had blueberries, spinach & banana.  It was supposed to have avocado but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.  

Next I worked on my juice for the day.


Oh yea oh yea oh yea this is going to be a good one.  Apples, carrots and lemons!  And then this happened.....


Oops!  This picture doesn't look bad but let me tell you that most of it is on the floor and under the microwave.  Oh and not to mention my phone was sitting the left of those cut up apples.  So yea...sticky floor, feet and counter.  Oh and wasted juice! WAH! Lucky It was only one lemon and 1/4 of an apple.  I thought I was awake, apparently not.  There is supposed to be a pitcher there! OYE.  So I regrouped, cleaned up and got to juicing again.


YUM!  This was a really yummy juice!  An absolute keeper! YAY!  For lunch I had leftover broccoli and kale soup.  Well and we all know what happened with dinner!

So listen, I am not counting this as I am failing.  Yes I am failing at what I said I was going to do.  But I really do like the juicing.  It is fun and I get more veggies in than I normally do.  I am going to try and juice twice a day.  I am going to find juices I like and stick with them. I am going to try and stick to healthy meals.  I am going to allow myself 1 cheat meal a week. Listen...i know i know!  But what will happen is that I will binge.  I know it.  So I am going to allow myself to have one meal.  I will try not to go overboard and ruin what I have made progress with.  I am going to try and stick with the blogging and see if that helps.  I realize I have about 4 readers.  But I feel like I owe it to you 4 to work it! 

xoxox

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Day 3....I am HUNGRY

Today has been a rough day, I am not going to lie.  I woke up this morning to several texts messages and even more emails about work.  We found out today that our company has been purchased by another company.  My first immediate feeling was fear.  Am I going to loss my job?  What is going to happen to amazing culture my company has worked 13 years to master.  Well unfortunately I do not have any answers.  I was in meetings all day and it was overall a very stressful day.  Then to mention it is my first day not at home juicing.  Today has been rough!

This morning I woke up 30 minutes earlier than I normally do so that I could make a smoothie and my juice for the day.  It ended up taking a little longer than I planned and I got to work a little later than I had wanted but I got everything done.  It took a little longer to clean all the equipment then I thought it would.  OYE! So the first hour of my day was stressful to say the least and proceeded to just get worse. 


My thickass smoothie I had to make this morning.  I was literally gagging most of the way to work.  I was able to choke down most of the drink but it was terrible.  There was romaine lettuce (uh gross....drinking liquid romaine gross), avocado, lemon, coconut water, banana & cucumber!  Yea not so appetizing Eh!

Morning and afternoon snack consisted of more green juice.  It contained kale, spinach, apple, cucumber, celery and lemon.  It was ok.  It tasted like grassy lemonade.  So yea...i drank grass two times today.  YUMMY!  Lunch I went out with a friend and grabbed a salad.  I was supposed to have a kale salad (you all know my feelings about that leafy green) so I opted for a salad.  I got all the good stuff taken off and only had veggies and balsamic vinaigrette.  It was not fulfilling at all. 

Dinner was leftover acorn squash (YUM) and broccoli soup.  It was good....but lord I have been starving all day.  I was so tempted to walk into our snack room at work and grab a bag of chips.  I didn't but oh did I want to.  I am still starving and I have eaten everything I should have today.  So yea...I am feeling cranky and I am tired.  I slept really well last night so I am thinking I'm exhausted from the lack of food! HA

What was I thinking in doing this challenge?  How am I possibly going to make it 30 days?!?!?! It will be a miracle if I make it all the way to the end.  I don't want to fail.  I said I was going to do this and I really want to.  But can I honestly maintain this?  Only time will tell.  That's all from me tonight folks!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Juicing: Day 2

Day 2!

Well, I made it through day 2.  What was I thinking in doing this challenge?  I am only on day 2 and I am already thinking "How the hell am I going to make it through 30 days".  OYE!  I am going to try to power through, that is how.....I think.

My morning started out with the lemon, ginger water while I caught up on work email and started my day.  I threw in my leftover berry "crisp" from yesterday morning into oven and enjoyed it while I worked.  I later made the celery, kale and apple juice.  Now this was supposed to have pear instead of apple but I didn't buy any pears.  I followed the grocery list that came with the plan and it didn't have pears listed. WTF! I bought more than enough apples so I knew I just needed to replace the pear with something sweet.  Now if you remember my kale saute from last night you can imagine my excitement to try this.





So pretty right! I was tempted to hold my nose and take the first drink.  If it tasted anything like last nights debacle I knew I would be throwing it down the drain.  Surprisingly the first taste was pretty decent.  Now is this going to be my favorite juice, probably not.  But I could drink it and I didn't have to chug it or worse yet throw it away.  You can see at the bottom that it is a tad clearer.  This juice separated very quickly.  I had to keep swirling to keep it all mixed up.

Lunch...oh dear lord lunch.  Again I was supposed to have a kale salad but I honestly just couldn't do it.  I am on day 2 and so over kale.  I don't think I am going to be able to do kale any other way except for juicing.  The other half of lunch was a raw carrot soup.  I was excited for this soup.  I was thinking oh yay it will taste like the juice from yesterday.  That couldn't have been farther from the truth.

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If you can't tell from the picture it is pretty thick.  This was basically a smoothie that I made in the blender.  It has carrots (ummm like 30 juiced), avocado, honey, S&P, honey, ginger & cayenne.  Sounds good right?  WRONG!  I took a big ole' sip since I was so excited and about spit it out all over my beige floor.  PUKE! It was way to sweet and oh man....it was THICK!  The below progress took me over an hour to get through.  I was trying so hard to like it and drink it.  I really knew I needed to "eat" this since I wasn't going to make the kale salad.  I just couldn't do it.


Since I only drank half of my "soup" and didn't make the kale salad, I was definitely hungry when it was early afternoon.  Afternoon snack was the other half of my green juice and it was still decent.  It was very separated in the fridge but with a little shake it was good to go.  For dinner Acorn squash stuffed with mushrooms & sage and a green detox soup. 


I LOVED this dinner!  I am huge fan of spaghetti squash and this was exactly like that.  The filling is simply mushrooms, EVOO, onion, garlic and fresh sage.  Sage is up there in my top 3 favorite herbs.  And then the fact that I was using fresh sage, forget it.  I knew I was going to at least like the filling.  This is easily a substitute for a fatty thanksgiving dinner.  It embodied the flavors you crave around that time of year.  I will have to try and remember this!  The second half of my dinner was a green detox soup.


Can you see all that KALE in there? Seriously with the damn kale?  When I read this recipe I was so sad.  Kale...again.  BOO!  The soup also has leeks, garlic, zucchini, broccoli and veggie stock.  I boiled it till the zucchini was tender and then buzzed it up with my immersion blender.  Again, I was terrified.  There was about 6 stalks of kale in there and I really didn't think the rest of it was enough to cover up that nasty bitter taste.  Well, I was wrong.  I could barely taste the kale and the soup just reminded me of broccoli soup.  I realize it looks like snot and it is not appetizing but I will be able to eat this again.

Overall, my day was good.  I was not starving all day like I have thought I would be.  I mean of course I got hungry every couple of hours when it was time for my next meal.  But I am not overwhelmingly hungry.  I don't feel tired and I find that my energy level is about normal.  I read that others that have done this challenge have slept great.  BRING IT ON.  If I don't benefit from anything but sleeping better this will be worth it to me.

Tomorrow is going to be difficult.  I need to go into the office *gasp* and I am worried about how I am going to handle making everything in the morning.  If you juice to early, nutrients are lost.  So the night before is out.  I am going to need to prep every morning.  Which means I need to wake up earlier......DISLIKE.  Since I don't sleep well most nights it is very difficult for me to get up any earlier than I have to.  I think I am going to re-arrange the meal plan a little for tomorrow to make it a tad easier on myself.  Well time to drink my herbal tea and call it a night soon.

Thanks for listening :)

Karin



Sunday, June 2, 2013

Jucing: Day 1

Welcome back friends!

As I stated in my last blog post, I have presented myself with a 30 day challenge.  30 days of juicing!  I watched a documentary called Fat sick and nearly dead and decided to follow in Joe's (the author's) footsteps.  I have decided to blog my journey to keep me accountable.  I don't know how many people will read this but in putting my journey in writing it helps me feel as though others are going through the process with me.

Ok so lets get to the goods.  DAY 1!  I was actually really excited to start and couldn't wait to get my new juicer started up and juicing.  I am following the plan off of Joe's website and have extended it to 30 days.  In his 15 day plan you do 5 days of juicing and eating following by just juice and finally ended with 5 days of juicing and eating.  I did a lot of research and found someone who had purchased the 30 day plan.  For the 30 day plan you simply extend the middle phase and continue just juicing.  Now in the documentary Joe did this challenge for 60 days.  I am committing to 30 days at this point and will access at the end of my journey. 

I have finished day 1 and I feel ok.  I have tried to follow the plan exactly but have already noticed that it is going to be difficult.  Now the difficult part is not the juicing as I would think, it is actually the food he wants you to eat.  I will elaborate a little later when I get to that portion of my day.

Saturday I did my grocery shopping and purchased my juicer so that I was all ready to get started today.  Below is a picture of my produce haul.  I did have a couple items already on hand that are not pictured.  But not many.  As you can see.....ITS A LOT.  My whole fridge is totally full.  Now lets talk about the price of this new crazy obsession of mine.  It's going to cost a lot.  I picked a juicer that was low to mid range in price.  With my bed bath and beyond coupon my Breville juicer was about $130.  All of the produce below was close to $90.  Now that is a lot yes, however I went through my bank statements for the past 3 months and honestly....I spent a shit ton on food.  I spend a lot at the grocery store and even more going out to eat with friends and drive thru.  I have promised myself that I am going to give this a try 100%.  What that means is that I will not be going out to eat this entire month.


Every morning Joe has you start with warm water with a slice of lemon and a knob of ginger.  It was nothing spectacular but it was sort of refreshing.  The ginger really gives the drink a spicy undertone and I kinda like it.  We will see what my feelings are after drinking it for 30 days.  While I sipped my tea I put this beauty in the oven.


This "crisp" was simply 1 cup of blueberries, 2 apples, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp nutmeg, 3 TBSP raisins, and coconut oil to coat dish.

This breakfast was just ok.  The cinnamon I have is the good stuff from Penzey's and it is pretty powerful.  So it was a tad to much for me but the flavor overall was pretty decent.  Morning and afternoon snack consisted of juice containing carrots, apples and ginger.


Isn't it pretty?!?!  This juice was delish!  I really enjoyed it and it was so refreshing.  I put the other half in the fridge and was a little concerned on the how it was going to taste and what the consistency was going to be.  When I grabbed it from the fridge this afternoon it looked NASTY! It was separated and did not look appetizing at all.  I gave the bottle a shake and hoped for the best.  To my surprise it tasted just as great as it did this morning.

So remember when I said I wasn't going to eat out for the entire month.  Well day 1 I was presented with a challenge.  Today is my friend Glenda's birthday and I wanted to see her.  She wanted to grab lunch.  We made these plans before I decided to start this juice and after I had done my produce overhaul.  I decided that I couldn't fail on day 1 and that I would still meet up with her for lunch but would only go and be social.  Shockingly I did not order anything.  I sipped my water while we caught up and Glenda enjoyed a yummy looking salad.  Now I could have ordered a salad and tried to mimic what Joe wanted me to eat for lunch but I didn't want to.  It was the principle of the fact that I would feel like I am failing day 1.  And I am not ok with that right now.  So I came home and made this yummy salad.  Greens, cucs, toms, avocado, carrots, S&P, EVOO and balsamic vinegar.  The salad was good however sadly my avocado was not ripe.  I cut it up anyway and threw it in the bowl.  It was virtually inedible.  So I picked around that.  But it was a satisfying salad.  I also made sweet potato and carrot "fries".


So after I drank my afternoon juice I honestly just wasn't hungry.  I can actually honestly say that I have not felt all that hungry today.  I literally can't believe it.  How is it that I have barely eaten anything but yet don't really feel hungry?  No clue but this never happens to me.  I can eat at all times.  When dinnertime rolled around Joe's menu states to eat the leftover "fries", another salad and sauteed greens.  I literally could not fathom eating that much greens.  Especially when I was not even hungry.  So I threw the leftover "fries" in the oven and sauteed some kale up with garlic and EVOO.  The "fries" were as tasty as they were at lunch.  The greens on the other hand.....PUKE.  I ate one bite and almost spit it out.  I am not a fan of bitter greens.  AT ALL!  I have made one salad with kale that was tolerable but every other way I have tried it, I have hated.  I have never tried sauteed greens so I thought I would give it a try.  UHH NEGATIVE, NOT HAPPENING.  I don't care how good they are for you, I can't do it.  I just can't.  Tomorrow I know I need to juice some kale.  Dear lord help me because I can't imagine that will be tasty!


All in all day 1 has been  a success.  I feel good, have plenty of energy and am happy that I completed the first day.  I am happy I decided to start on a Sunday to get my bearings.  I am thankfully working from home tomorrow and will be able to plan ahead for the rest of the week.  It is going to be really interesting to juice in the morning and bring them all to work.  In the meantime I will plan as much as I can in advance and go with the flow for the rest.  I am trying not to put a ton of pressure on myself, however I really want to complete this.  I was to prove to myself that I CAN do this.  How is it that everyone else seems to believe in me but I don't?  I have failed so many times and know that a weight loss journey no matter what you are doing is difficult.  SO DIFFICULT.  If you have never been overweight, you will never understand.  This is literally the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  I would love to battle this for the last time and just maintain.  I also realistically know that I will battle this the rest of my life.  I will have to monitor every damn morsel I put into my body.  I just hope when I get to that point it will be a little easier.  Welp, enough for today.  I will check in again soon to let y'all know how I am doing!

Peace, KC

Changing my life....once and for all!

Long time no blog!  I have fallen off the face of the blogging world for over a year now and I realized recently that I missed it.  I may not have a ton of followers but I enjoy having a place where I can share my life.  So here goes something very personal and private.

If you know me personally you know that I have struggled with my weight for most of my life.  My first realization that I was overweight was in middle school.  While I wasn't the largest kid, I knew I was different.  It wasn't until later in my life that it has really become a serious issue.  I have spiraled out of control.  I fear that my life is in danger and that if I do not do something soon and stick with it I will throw my life away.  I have literally tried to lose weight so many times that I am can not even count.  I have also tried so many different diets and eating plans that I can legit call myself an expert on most of them.  I have done Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Cabbage soup diet, counting calories, abs diet......and the list goes on.  I have had success on each and every one of the plans that I have tried.  I feel like those closest to me have heard me talk about different plans so many times that they themselves are probably experts.  It really is something new with me every time.  I am searching for the plan that works for me.  The plan that I can live with for the rest of my life.  I don't want to diet.  I don't want how I eat to rule my life and determine my every move. I don't want to have to meet up with friends and tell them how I am eating this week.  I want to live.

So you ask, what is my problem?  Self sabbatoge!  Something always comes up and happens to derail me.  I let little things bother me and completely knock me off my game.  May it be stress, a friends wedding, a trip, a shower....whatever it is I let it ruin all my progress and everything I have worked so hard for.  I have no self control and struggle with lack of motivation.  My level of motivation is solely dependent on the progress I am making.  If I am losing weight I am highly motivated, if I am not doing so well I get upset, down on my self and then eventually quit.  It is all mental with me!

This weekend I watched a documentary called "Fat sick and nearly dead" by Joe Cross.  Joe was overweight and very sick.  He decided to do something drastic to save his life.  He challenged himself to only juice for 60 days.  NO FOOD! Now wait just one minute....I love food.  That is clear, I legit thought he was crazy.  Who willingly gives up food?  Someone who is desperate to change their lives and someone who needs to.  Joe had great success.  He lost a lot of weight and exercised to change his body and life.  As I watched this documentary it got me thinking that I need to do something drastic as well.  I hate the way I look, feel and act.  I am so uncomfortable in my own skin.  I hate the person I have become and I can't imagine that the people around me like it either.  I am so unhappy and miserable.  I am sad most of the time and have learned how to put on a overly happy face to cover up how unhappy I am.  I mask the fact that my life is not what I thought it was going to be.  I am 31, single, unhappy and killing myself slowly.  It is time to change my life for the good and make it happen.

I realize I have said this before and that many of you who will read this have been my support system in that journey and I ask for you to do it one more time.  I have decided to follow in Joe's footsteps and complete a 30 day challenge to help jump start my weight loss.  I know that juicing is not sustainable long term, but I believe that it will give me the wake up call and start that I need.  What is going to happen after the 30 days?  Well I am not sure yet.  I want to see where this takes me and how I feel at the end of the 30 days.  In the documentary Joe slowly brought food back in and continued to eat a healthy well balanced diet.  This will be my space to keep me accountable and share my experience through these next 30 days.

Today marks day 1 of the juicing.  I will blog after I have completed the day and share more about how the juicing will work!

Thank-you for the continued support through my journey!

xoxo

Karin

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