Sunday, June 2, 2013

Changing my life....once and for all!

Long time no blog!  I have fallen off the face of the blogging world for over a year now and I realized recently that I missed it.  I may not have a ton of followers but I enjoy having a place where I can share my life.  So here goes something very personal and private.

If you know me personally you know that I have struggled with my weight for most of my life.  My first realization that I was overweight was in middle school.  While I wasn't the largest kid, I knew I was different.  It wasn't until later in my life that it has really become a serious issue.  I have spiraled out of control.  I fear that my life is in danger and that if I do not do something soon and stick with it I will throw my life away.  I have literally tried to lose weight so many times that I am can not even count.  I have also tried so many different diets and eating plans that I can legit call myself an expert on most of them.  I have done Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Cabbage soup diet, counting calories, abs diet......and the list goes on.  I have had success on each and every one of the plans that I have tried.  I feel like those closest to me have heard me talk about different plans so many times that they themselves are probably experts.  It really is something new with me every time.  I am searching for the plan that works for me.  The plan that I can live with for the rest of my life.  I don't want to diet.  I don't want how I eat to rule my life and determine my every move. I don't want to have to meet up with friends and tell them how I am eating this week.  I want to live.

So you ask, what is my problem?  Self sabbatoge!  Something always comes up and happens to derail me.  I let little things bother me and completely knock me off my game.  May it be stress, a friends wedding, a trip, a shower....whatever it is I let it ruin all my progress and everything I have worked so hard for.  I have no self control and struggle with lack of motivation.  My level of motivation is solely dependent on the progress I am making.  If I am losing weight I am highly motivated, if I am not doing so well I get upset, down on my self and then eventually quit.  It is all mental with me!

This weekend I watched a documentary called "Fat sick and nearly dead" by Joe Cross.  Joe was overweight and very sick.  He decided to do something drastic to save his life.  He challenged himself to only juice for 60 days.  NO FOOD! Now wait just one minute....I love food.  That is clear, I legit thought he was crazy.  Who willingly gives up food?  Someone who is desperate to change their lives and someone who needs to.  Joe had great success.  He lost a lot of weight and exercised to change his body and life.  As I watched this documentary it got me thinking that I need to do something drastic as well.  I hate the way I look, feel and act.  I am so uncomfortable in my own skin.  I hate the person I have become and I can't imagine that the people around me like it either.  I am so unhappy and miserable.  I am sad most of the time and have learned how to put on a overly happy face to cover up how unhappy I am.  I mask the fact that my life is not what I thought it was going to be.  I am 31, single, unhappy and killing myself slowly.  It is time to change my life for the good and make it happen.

I realize I have said this before and that many of you who will read this have been my support system in that journey and I ask for you to do it one more time.  I have decided to follow in Joe's footsteps and complete a 30 day challenge to help jump start my weight loss.  I know that juicing is not sustainable long term, but I believe that it will give me the wake up call and start that I need.  What is going to happen after the 30 days?  Well I am not sure yet.  I want to see where this takes me and how I feel at the end of the 30 days.  In the documentary Joe slowly brought food back in and continued to eat a healthy well balanced diet.  This will be my space to keep me accountable and share my experience through these next 30 days.

Today marks day 1 of the juicing.  I will blog after I have completed the day and share more about how the juicing will work!

Thank-you for the continued support through my journey!



<a href="">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

1 comment:

  1. Love you, sissy! Thanks for sharing and for being so honest. You are so brave, and I know you can do this! Love you!